So it was my last day of work before I went on maternity leave. Sophia’s original due date was June 22, but since she refused to turn we had a scheduled c-section for the morning of June 15th. This gave me exactly a week to finish organizing her room, wash her laundry, put together the cosleeper, finish packing our bags, etc.
That morning I got up, squeezed my giant belly (and other things) into some clothes and got ready to head out to work. I realized I had to pee (again) and decided it would be easier to do it at home than in the office. So I sat down and peed. And then peed some more. And a little bit more. Which was strange because at that point in my pregnancy my bladder wasn’t really that big. And I didn’t FEEL like I was peeing. It stopped and I tried to stand up. And more came out so I quickly sat back down. I realized that some women lose bladder control later in their pregnancy, but this was crazy. I tried to stand up again, and yup, more. It slowly dawns on me that this might be something else but this is NOT how I imagined it would happen so I wasn’t entirely convinced. I mean, I always thought it would be this big SPLOOSH and this wasn’t that.
It was 9:00 a.m., Tim was in the kitchen packing up our lunches. Its a straight shot down the hallway to the kitchen, so I called out to him. The conversation went something like this:
ME: “Honey???”
TIM: leans his head out of the kitchen and looks down at me, “Yes?”
ME: “I don’t want to panic you, and I’m not entirely sure, but I THINK my water may have just broken.”
TIM: “Oookay.” He stares at me for a second or two then leans back into the kitchen.
I continue to sit there trying to figure out what to do next. I tried standing up again and more water trickled out so I sat back down.
TIM: sticks his head out and says something like, “You okay?”
ME: “I’m pretty sure that my water broke, I mean, what else could it be???”
Now when you’re pregnant there are a variety of items that can leak out of your body in those last few months so any well informed pregnant woman knows how to tell the difference. So I run my hand down along my damp leg and sniff. Yup, that’s right, I sniffed. Amnio fluid has no scent whereas urine will smell salty-this was pretty nondescript. I looked at Tim and said, “I think this is it, I think my water broke. Oh my god I think we’re going to have a baby today!!!!”
First thing I did was call my doctors office and tell them what happened. They told me to go straight to Labor & Delivery. I asked, “Now, is this a “go right now” kind of thing, or can I go soonish, like after I do a load of laundry and finish packing? Oh, okay, its a go NOW kind of thing. I see. Thank you”.
Next I called my work, “Ryan, hi, its Ivy. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to make it in today. I’m pretty sure my water just broke. There’s a chance I could be wrong and they’ll send me home but I’m pretty sure it was my water and I’m not sure what else it COULD be but I’ll let you know.”
Still sitting on the toilet I next tried to figure out how to get off the toilet. Mind you, I’m STILL leaking fluid so I’m trying to figure out what to do about that. With the clever use of a dishrag and some yoga pants the problem was temporarily solved. I shoved my EXCEPTIONALLY swollen feet into some thongs, Tim grabbed our half-packed bag, and headed for the door.
I called my mom from the car, on our way to the hospital. She didn’t answer so I left a message. I think I called Kat next, Tim may have called his parents, my dad, I’m really not sure because right about that point the first contraction hit. It was fairly mild, like a light punch to the stomach. I think my mom called back at this point, I told her what had happened and that we were on our way to the hospital to have a baby. She said to call her back when we knew what was going on. Since I knew Sophie hadn’t turned it would still be a c-section, I remember telling her, “We’re having a baby THIS MORNING so if you want to be here for it you better leave work NOW!”
We made it to the hospital, valet parked the car and I was suddenly reminded of the previous evening when we had just been there for the Baby Basics class. I remember joking and threatening Tim, “Well, we’re scheduled to give birth in a week, but realistically, it could be ANY MINUTE NOW.” (Yeah, way to prove my point there, Universe.) I had also complained about how freaking far the valet parking actually was from Labor and Delivery and how I felt sorry for any woman in labor who was going to have to navigate that long walk. (Again, thanks for the laugh.)
So while having contractions, wadded up hand-towel in my now wet yoga pants, slippery flip-flops on my feet, iPhone clutched in one hand and Tim clutched in the other, we carefully navigated through the drizzle, across the damp parking lot, up the stone steps of the hospital, through the slippery hallway, through another damp courtyard, through another hallway, to the elevators, to the fourth floor, through a maze of hallways and finally to the nurses station. Laughing most of the way, of course.
Like before (I had gone into false labor a few weeks before) they put me into a room, had me strip down, gown up and strapped a monitor to my belly. They informed me that they had informed my doctor, and that we just needed to wait for the anesthesiologist to become available.
Christienne showed up and kept us company while we waited. The nurse (I think her name was Nina?) came in to inform me that there were several other women in labor and that the anesthesiologist had a couple of epidurals to perform before he could get to my spinal block. The contractions continued to get stronger and more frequent and became so strong I could no longer talk through them and just used my breathing techniques. I am actually grateful for this time, as I got to experience a little bit of labor, something I was really disappointed about when I found out I was going to have to have a c-section. (I was also very pleased to have gotten my surprise “Honey, it’s time” moment.)
Finally, the anesthesiologist came in. I don’t remember his name, but he was fantastic-a largish, older man with a giant mustache and friendly face. I’m just going to call him Ted. He looked like a Ted. He explained the procedure to me and informed me that Tim could not be there for the spinal block. This freaked me out quite a bit as I was terrified of this procedure, probably more than the c-section itself. I wouldn’t call my fear of needles an actual phobia, but I get queazy just having blood taken. He and the nurse assured me that they’d take good care of me.
I vaguely remember making my way to the operating room, I’m not entirely sure how I got there. Did they wheel me in or did I walk down the hallway with my gown flapping around in the wind? No idea, but I got there, sat down on the table and waited for instructions. The nurse, Nina told me that there would be two needles, the first to numb the area and then the spinal block. She said the first one was the worst and to expect a big pinch and that I must NOT move when this happens. She also warned me that the effects hit pretty fast, can cause some complication like blood pressure dropping and nausea. Fun stuff.
So she took my hand, and I hunched over as instructed, waited for the most recent contraction to stop and then Ted started to do his thing. I had a death grip on her hand and I finally felt it, the first needle. I felt it go in, a slight burning, then nothing, no more pinch, no more burn. After a few more seconds I whispered to her, “Uh, was that it?” She shushed me and told me not to move. I sat there, perfectly still, feeling pretty stupid for being afraid, I’ve had finger pricks that hurt more than that. Within another minute or so he was done and as I was asking, “How fast will I feel it?” they’ve both grabbed a hold of me and carefully laid me down on the table as the numbness quickly spread down my body. It was one of the strangest things I’ve ever felt because I still had some sensation in my limbs, but was incapable of moving them or feeling anything specific. I definitely couldn’t feel the contractions anymore.
NIna left to go get Tim and Ted proceeds to strap me down, which was a bit alarming. Luckily it was just one arm, the other was left free so I could touch the baby once she was delivered. They draped me, and seated Tim up next to my head where he could hold my hand. Then they got started. I was a little frightened still, but I kept Tim in focus and tried not to think too much about what was happening behind the curtain. I could feel some tugging and pulling as they extracted her, but that was it. It went by fast, it took about five minutes from the start to baby.
At 1:01 pm Sophia was born and I heard her first cry, I was so overwhelmed with emotion that all I could do is cry “Oh my god” in awe. They whisked her to the warming station where Tim proceeded to cut the cord. I still hadn’t actually seen her so I called to Tim, in tears, “IS SHE BEAUTIFUL???” Overcome with emotion, all he could do is turn to me and nod. He snapped a picture of her with his iPhone and brought it over to me so I could finally see her. He went back to watch them examine her and clean her up. I remember Ted held my hand the entire time they were putting me back together. Finally, they cleaned her off, bundled her up and laid her on my chest. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Everything after this gets a little blurry. They wheeled me off to recovery, I remember holding Sophie and smiling at everyone like an idiot. I don’t have any specific memories of having her with me, probably due to the morphine, though I didn’t feel drugged at the time. I do remember those that came to visit in recovery, my mom and Steve, Jon and Christienne and of course, Tim. I remember some photos being taken. Unfortunately, I don’t remember when I started to nurse her, I just know we had no problems with it.
After a while in recovery they wheeled me off to the room I would spend the next four days in. Sophie was kept in the room with me at all times, except when she was given her bath and weighed and Tim accompanied her each time. I nursed her frequently and watched her endlessly. I would wake in the middle of the night completely overcome with emotion and just cry at how beautiful she was and much I loved her.
And I still do that, from time to time.
